Category Archives: 3. Food Cartoons, Humor and Satire

A Horse Eats Cheeseburgers at Fast Food Drive-up (3-min hilarious video)

Patches on the way to McDonald's

Four Feet for Fast Meat

Who woulda thunk? Patches dudn’t care for Coke, but this horse likes daily drives in a convertible, cheeseburgers from a fast-food drive-up window . . . and apple juice! You will surely want to share this (buttons below). Laughter is the best medicine! — Augie

We need more horses, goats and cows in the new ARMi. Now, you and your farm animals can freely register 4-F and join the new ARMi. 4-F is Family Farm Food Freedom (in the real Army means “unfit to serve”). There is a hot free sample of Living Food in the mess hall after you sign up for free. Quit horsing around: grab the old ladies, pack of the babies, hop on your horses and moove to freely register 4-F with the new ARMi.

 

 

 

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War of the Words — Eating the Greens & Naturally Sustainable Organic Foods

War of the Words — Eating the Greens and Naturally Sustainable Organic Foods

I have referred to the War of the Words several times in my talks and conversations –and it seems to resonate, so I will expound here. There is some intended sarcasm also.– Augie

Scribble Scrabble Scramble

Make Up Your Own Words

Government, corporate and academia change-makers are  always defining and redefining our words for us. “Water” for example may have different meanings depending on the specific laws or regulations the word is set within. Redefinition is an age-old practice to manipulate people and take control. As soon as you understand one word defined, you can be sure its definition has already been changed. Attorneys love it.

Organic comes to mind. If you search the Journal you will not find me using the term– as I have a distaste for it– like organic CAFO-type factory farmed chickens and eggs. The word has caused so much confusion and frustration– I don’t like to use it. USDA stole the term from the grassroots and twisted it to where can mean a battery of concentration camps of 250,000 chickens or even a million–voila, most of your organic chickens and eggs at the supermarket. Funny, pesticides and herbicides are organic too.

Continue reading

Fat Boy Dies of Yeast and Fungal Infection–Link Discovered (Humor)

A boy dies of yeast and fungal infections brought on by over consumption of breads, pastas, cereals and grains in combination with sugars from soft drinks and sugar-rich foods. The conditions affect tens of millions of American’s and of course contributes greatly to the obesity and diabetes epidemics.

Although a strong link to these conditions has been discovered over a decade ago by a research laboratory of scientists, USDA refuses to revise their food pyramid marketing scheme. Both humorous stories have unknown authors. Please do pass this dish around– perhaps I can make a little dough or some real bread.–Augie

Sad Loss

Please join  me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast  infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth , Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies,  and Captain Crunch . The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and  lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much  he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie,  wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.  Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children John Dough , Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made  you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else that may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.  (Feed it to your tweeters)

New Element Discovered

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with silver and gold, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

END News Release
Now, before you pass this piece of pi around to your friend’s tables and throw it in your Face(books), please take a one minute survey and get a sample copy of Living Food, subscribe to my Journal and join up the ARMi. You can browse the iShop and get the real scoop of the poop. oh, and start the chain reaction by sharing the link http://wp.me/phmll-1iV  –Augie

PLEASE TAKE OUR ONE-MINUTE SURVEY and get a free subscription to our Journal and a sample of Living Food.–Augie

The iShop is NOW OPEN! Browse around! NEWLY published book called 30 Days to Wellness is coming this week!

What funny food or farm stories or jokes do you have? The best two get a new free 12-page PDF of Living Food on Sugars and Artificial Sweeteners. (Judges: Annie and I)

The OSHA/EPA Horse

A hilarious cartoon: The OSHA/EPA Horse (This link takes you to the new Journal)

Cartoon: Raw Milk Wars

Mike Adams over at NaturalNews.com came up with this cute cartoon. You can fight in the Raw Milk Wars by joining up with the ARMi (Alliance for Raw Milk Internationale) in all 50 states and 8 countries. See over 60 articles on farm fresh milk here at the Journal. SHARE THIS Bookmark and Share 

You can fight in the Raw Milk Wars by joining up with the ARMi (Alliance for Raw Milk Internationale) in all 50 states and 8 countries. 

NoZone – Ask Your Doctor

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A Funny 5-minute Spoof on Prescription Drugs

If it were not for the human tragedy of much of modern medicine miracles and wonder drugs, it would be a fine comedy. This spoof is on NoZone, another wonder drug to mask symptoms while allowing the cause to thrive and create other symptoms.

When I was with the Marathon Oil Company in Findlay, Ohio, we were asked to enter a naming contest for a new gasoline more friendly to the environment. I coined the name NoZone and it was named second place (even though I thought it was the clear winner). They said it would make the general public think that the new gas might put them asleep at the wheel. I am glad to see the word used in a constructive way to draw attention to the mass drugging going around. It was as if the general public is asleep to what is going on. Some say that is what some of the drugs will do.

In these dark and depressed times, might it not be said more than ever that laughter is the best medicine? To bring you even more relief,  perhaps even to some healing, sometime in future, a certain mechanism could be offered. I would hope that the magic elixer of my script would cause you to need to reach for your credit card and insert it into a box here and thereby speed your recovery– which we could rightfully claim it is life-extension technology– without the need for FDA approval.

If you think this clip is funny, the most hilarious cartoon on The Drugs I  Need is available here at the Journal along with some award-winning cartoons like The Meatrix and Store Wars in the Comic Section of today’s Journal.

Spoof on Medical/Drug Complex: The Town of Allopath

The six-minute video parodies the drug companies and conventional healthcare system. Produced by Dr. Mercola of mercola.com and Mike Adams of NaturalNews.com

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Spoof on Medical/Drug Complex: The To…“, posted with vodpod

Cheeseburger in a Can

hitormiss-burgerThis menu item is filed under food humor and satire, as well as under factory food.

This picture looks like a real hamburger, kinda like those McDonald’s billboards and signs at their drive-throughs that misrepresent the actual look of the product. This is a cheeseburger-in-a-can. The photo below is how it looks on the inside.

hitormiss-burger

You will enjoy the 3 minute video.

Wheel of Salmonella

In light of the recent salmonella peanut butter outbreak, I could not resist bringing the Wheel up to the front page. At first, health officials alarmed us not to consume raw dairy which was highly suspected to be the cause. It was funny, because the map showed no cases reported in Holmes County, Ohio, where more raw milk is consumed than probably anywhere in the country!

Courtesy, naturalnews.com
Wheel-of-Salmonella

The Meatrix: Hilarious Award-winning Cartoons

meatrix For the delight of you and your family, make sure you watch these short cartoons, The Meatrix 1, 2.5 and 3. The best is the 3-D interactive, down at the factory farm.

These videos have won many prestigious national and international awards. If you do not speak English, then you can see the subtitles in 50 languages.

Rather than lifting these from YouTube and pasting them in,  I am linking directly to the site and at the risk of losing readers being drawn into the various rabbit holes offered here: The Meatrix, courtesy of Sustainable Table. Just make sure you come back and enjoy the rest of the fun at the Journal.